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Miss Manners: Some female orchestra members look ready for couch time, not stage time
In today's Miss Manners column, advice columnist Judith Martin responds to why men in an orchestra dress up more than the women.
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DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have had season tickets to the orchestra for a couple of decades. For evening concerts, the orchestra wears white tie, and women soloists wear evening dress. For afternoon concerts, the soloists still wear evening dress, and the men in the orchestra wear black suits, black shirts and black ties.
The musicians who are women, however, wear an assortment of black clothes: from black slacks with a regular black shirt to an orchestra musicianâs traditional long black dress.
In my opinion, some of the women look as though they should be turning on the TV and getting a big bowl of popcorn.
GENTLE READER: Strange, isnât it, that when formal clothes are called for, men are often now more dressed up than women? Not counting the Oscars, of course.
Miss Manners has noticed this in orchestras, but also at social events. The men will be properly -- not to mention attractively -- clad in dinner jackets, while many of the women hardly bother to dress up.
Granted, women are expected to show variety in their outfits, and there are unlikely to be enough formal events in modern life for them to invest in an evening wardrobe.
But even when such occasions were more common, ladies knew how to dress up without maintaining costume shops -- pairing basic dresses with scarves, jewelry or little jackets. Miss Manners herself once managed one carry-on bag to the Wagner festival at Bayreuth -- encompassing 10 formal evenings -- with one evening dress and a different look every night.
As for orchestras, surely women musicians can find long black dresses or trouser suits they can wear at every concert. Variety is not a concern in this case.
Of course, these garments would have to allow for ease in playing their instruments. Miss Manners recalls reading about a cellist who tried on a dress in a New York department store by sitting down and opening her legs to accommodate an imaginary cello -- whereupon the saleswoman said sternly, âMadam! Bergdorfâs is not that kind of store!â
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
COPYRIGHT 2025 JUDITH MARTIN DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106; 816-581-7500
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