Eurovision 2025 review: 'bizarre awfulness on a budget makes for gripping TV'

So bad, it’s brilliant, Eurovision was a triumph of kitsch with spectacular staging and as much tension as hilarity

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Review at a glance

Like the FA Cup Final which preceded it by a few hours, Eurovision is a spectacle which is compulsively watchable even if the performers involved are lacking in quality. Such events have their own rules, exist in their own universe where time stretches and the nation holds its breath. In the case of Eurovision, time stretches so far that the nation’s lips turn blue and starts signaling for help.

After many, many hours, Eurovision 2025 came to a close with Austria’s JJ triumphing in Basel for his song ‘Wasted Love’. But victory only came on the final result from the public vote, which had threatened to upset the whole diamante apple cart.

While the jury results of each nation had Israel languishing near the bottom of the leaderboard, when the public vote from each entrant - which now also counts towards the final score - was announced at the end, suddenly Israel’s Yuval Raphael rocketed to the number one slot.

Suddenly, front-runners like Miriana Conte, with her mildly risque ‘Serving’, and Armenia’s PARG - think Trent Reznor crossed with Viper from Gladiators - were nowhere to be seen.

Winner of the Eurovision Song Contest JJ from Austria holds up the trophy (Martin Meissner/AP)

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The tension rose to fever pitch, but then came the final public vote for Austria, which was large enough for JJ to claim the top spot and win victory. For those who thought Israel shouldn’t even have been in the contest - Palestinian flags were brandished in the stadium during Raphael’s performance and protestors attempted to disrupt her performance - it was a victory snatched from the jaws of defeat.

And as Graham Norton noted, “The EBU [European Broadcasting Union, who organises the contest] will breathing the largest sigh of relief they’re not faced with a Tel Aviv final next year... for lots of reasons that was one of the tensest voting sequences we’re ever sat through.”

Norton was fine company all night for a Eurovision that ran its typical gamut from high camp to medium camp, with only those who decided upon pompous sincerity - hello Israel! - outstaying their welcome.

PARG from Armenia during the grand final performing the song Survivor (Martin Meissner/AP)

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Look, this is Eurovision, we want nuttiness. Kitsch bad taste. And these days Eurovision awfulness comes with a budget, transforming the eccentric whims of these performances into gripping flights of spectacular fancy.

We had Justyna from Poland as a dominatrix Kahleesi writhing in an apocalyptic storm which culminated in her being lifted over the stage as a dragon swooped down towards her. On a similar note Klavdia from Greece sang Asteromata in a swirling storm as a tree shot up in flames behind her.

Expressions of euro gloom were punctured by Erika Vikman from Finland, with her ‘controversial’ ode to orgasms, ‘Icah Komme’. She was Barbarella stuck in a Queen song which then culminated with her riding a golden microphone as it rocketed across the stage. It would have been fun were it not for this writer realising his children were singing along happily to the chorus. Thanks Eurovision, can’t wait for them to start singing it in public on holiday this year.

Lucio Corsi from Italy performs Volevo Essere Un Duro at the Eurovision Song Contest (Martin Meissner/AP)

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Other fun moments included Italy’s Lucio Corsi, who Norton identified as resembling “the Child Catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang,” though his charming schtick appeared to imagine what David Bowie would have been like if he had never written a hit single.

VAEB were Iceland’s entry, two blonde-headed brothers in Bacofoil tracksuits and silver wraparound shades. This cyberpunk Jedward look morphed bafflingly into a nautical theme, with the pair riding a boat into yet another storm. My notes for this read: ‘Not just the worst thing in musical history, but the worst thing in all history.’ Now I’ve grown to enjoy it, or at least, have been reminded a few of the wars bump them down the list.

VAEB from Iceland perform the song ROA (Martin Meissner/AP)

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Sweden’s KAJ - who are all Finnish (don’t ask, even the band said they felt “uncomfortable” holding the Swedish flag) - were heavily tipped for victory with their ode to the sauna, Bara Bada Bastu. After all the hype it was a bit disappointing to hear their mirthless anti-tune and the accompanying schtick which turned The Lumberjack Song from Monty Python into musical theatre tedium.

Not much better was the UK’s entry by girl group Remember Monday. ‘What The Hell Just Happened?’ was a cutesy Gen-Z song about a ‘chaotic’ night out delivered in a giggling performance convinced of its own ‘you guys!’ endearing messiness. But it came across as amateurish and a little spoilt; a judgement only compounded when one of the girls gave ‘the bird’ when the public vote awarded them nil points.

Remember Monday from the United Kingdom perform the song What The Hell Just Happened? during the grand final of the 69th Eurovision Song Contest in Basel, Switzerland (Martin Meissner/AP)

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No, it was JJ who brought all the loveability on the night, and about 98% of the talent. His soaring soprano voice took his song Wasted Love to heights formerly only reached by the trills of woodland pixies, before the ballad morphed into a rave tune that felt like a victory squeal.

And indeed it was JJ who was handed the cheap-looking H Samuel trophy, as he cried and declared, “Love is the strongest force in the world!” Sweet.

Look, none of the Eurovision Song Contest songs are going on your Spotify playlist anytime soon but that’s hardly the point. This is spectacle. A circus. Is Eurovision the Greatest Show on Earth? If it were from this planet - and were three hours shorter - you would say so.

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Miatamil

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